We are one week away from May 1, which is National Candidates Reply Day. That’s the date by which college admission offers must be accepted or turned down. If your child is fortunate enough to have more than one offer of admission, what should go into this decision?
Often, the choice is easy. One school stands out as a favorite, or one is more economical, or one has a program of study that’s a good fit for the student’s interests, or perhaps a visit to one campus prompted a strong emotional attachment. But if a student has made it until April 24 without deciding, it’s possible he or she is torn. He may have overlooked one aspect of college life that could be worth factoring into his decision.
We are all of us more influenced by our social world than we like to think. We believe our actions are a product of our life experiences and personality. But the history of social psychology shows that the situation can make us more cruel, more helpful, more conformist, or more honest. When I taught at Williams college, I was struck by the fitness obsession among students; many students jogged, but those who didn’t regularly engaged in some sort of exercise. I commented on this to a student once, and he said “Yeah, I never jogged before I got here.” I asked “what made you start?” He shrugged and said “Everybody jogs.”
How can you put that principle to work in a college decision?
It’s natural for a student to think that she should pick a college that’s a good fit for her personality and interests. For example, people who are into fitness should attend Williams. Those who aren’t will feel out of step.
I suggest the opposite is true. Think of the social environment as a support to your personality and interests. The student who doesn't exercise should think of Williams as a place where it’s easy to start exercising. Similarly, if a student thinks of herself as social—no problem making friends, enjoys going to parties, etc.—then she doesn't need much support from the college environment to ensure that that aspect of her life will thrive. But going to a school with a reputation for nerdiness might help ensure social support for some focus on academics. Likewise, the socially awkward, perpetual studier (Dan hesitantly raises his hand) might consider closely a school known to have a strong social life.
More generally, encourage the student to consider this: which aspects of your life are you satisfied with? What do you know you’ll make time for, what do you feel confident about. Then in contrast, which aspects of your life do you feel need work? Which ones give you trouble, and you feel uncertain about how to improve? Select a college which you think provides a supportive environment for those aspects of your life that you most want to improve.
This factor will not be determinative, but if the decision is coming down the wire, you might include it in the mix. More generally, encourage the student to consider this: which aspects of your life are you satisfied with? As you contemplate entering college, what do you know you’ll make time for, what do you feel confident about? Then in contrast, which aspects of your life do you feel need work? Which ones give you trouble, and you feel uncertain about how to improve? Select a college which you think provides a supportive environment for those aspects of your life that you most want to improve.
This factor will not be decisive, but if the decision is coming down the wire, you might include it in the mix.
Often, the choice is easy. One school stands out as a favorite, or one is more economical, or one has a program of study that’s a good fit for the student’s interests, or perhaps a visit to one campus prompted a strong emotional attachment. But if a student has made it until April 24 without deciding, it’s possible he or she is torn. He may have overlooked one aspect of college life that could be worth factoring into his decision.
We are all of us more influenced by our social world than we like to think. We believe our actions are a product of our life experiences and personality. But the history of social psychology shows that the situation can make us more cruel, more helpful, more conformist, or more honest. When I taught at Williams college, I was struck by the fitness obsession among students; many students jogged, but those who didn’t regularly engaged in some sort of exercise. I commented on this to a student once, and he said “Yeah, I never jogged before I got here.” I asked “what made you start?” He shrugged and said “Everybody jogs.”
How can you put that principle to work in a college decision?
It’s natural for a student to think that she should pick a college that’s a good fit for her personality and interests. For example, people who are into fitness should attend Williams. Those who aren’t will feel out of step.
I suggest the opposite is true. Think of the social environment as a support to your personality and interests. The student who doesn't exercise should think of Williams as a place where it’s easy to start exercising. Similarly, if a student thinks of herself as social—no problem making friends, enjoys going to parties, etc.—then she doesn't need much support from the college environment to ensure that that aspect of her life will thrive. But going to a school with a reputation for nerdiness might help ensure social support for some focus on academics. Likewise, the socially awkward, perpetual studier (Dan hesitantly raises his hand) might consider closely a school known to have a strong social life.
More generally, encourage the student to consider this: which aspects of your life are you satisfied with? What do you know you’ll make time for, what do you feel confident about. Then in contrast, which aspects of your life do you feel need work? Which ones give you trouble, and you feel uncertain about how to improve? Select a college which you think provides a supportive environment for those aspects of your life that you most want to improve.
This factor will not be determinative, but if the decision is coming down the wire, you might include it in the mix. More generally, encourage the student to consider this: which aspects of your life are you satisfied with? As you contemplate entering college, what do you know you’ll make time for, what do you feel confident about? Then in contrast, which aspects of your life do you feel need work? Which ones give you trouble, and you feel uncertain about how to improve? Select a college which you think provides a supportive environment for those aspects of your life that you most want to improve.
This factor will not be decisive, but if the decision is coming down the wire, you might include it in the mix.
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